We had another real Housewives double-header last night, with real Housewives of Orange county making its eight season debut before the second part of the real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion. I was anxious that the reunion need to be incredibly boring if they were hiding it behind the OC premiere instead of giving the episode its own week, which a lot of reunions have for at least one of their segments. Neither of Beverly Hills’ two parts had that leisure, and unfortunately, it was because nothing much interesting was said.
The OC premiere was a little a lot more successful, mostly because Vicky is still a stark, raving lunatic who has now inserted foreign objects into her face. a lot of of the rest of the premiere felt like a mid-season episode, which might bode poorly for the enjoyment value of the season to come. Still, let’s have a recap. That’s what I’m here for.
1. Vicky had a chin implant. For the love of everything holy, if I had made a list of cosmetic procedures I thought might improve Vicky’s facial appearance, a chin implant would not have been in the top 30. If I’ve learned anything from living in a neighborhood with lots of rich older women who have had odd plastic surgery, it’s that implants and injectables are bad, modest lifts are good. instead of getting a facelift, which is really all that Vicky would have needed if she was unhappy with her loose skin, she just tried to fill the loose skin with random junk.
2. Vicky broke up with Brooks. Så du ved. One good decision, one bad decision. Par for the course, nearly literally.
3. Or did she break up with Brooks? a lot more TO COME.
4. Tamra and Eddie have moved in together and did start a fitness studio. There’s trouble in paradise, though, because Eddie doesn’t want Tamra to wear her shoes on the carpet. Don’t let the man get you down, Tamra.
5. Brianna had her baby. Vicky’s now a grandma, which will no doubt inspire a half dozen a lot more ill-advised cosmetic procedures. Also, I’m pretty sure she had pipe cleaners glued to her eyelids for her interviews instead of fake lashes. Unrelated, but still worth noting.
6. Tamra and Vicky still hate each other and everyone still hates Alexis. Or at least Tamra, Gretchen and Heather hate her, which might as well be everybody. For the record, I still hate Alexis too, even though I think she looks great without all her fake hair.
7. earth Jesus thinks he’s an art connoisseur. That’s it, that’s the joke.
8. Alexis thinks that if she keeps saying she got bullied, it’ll eventually be true. Sure, the women weren’t incredibly great to her, but all the stuff they said in Costa Rica last year was stuff that someone needed to say to Alexis. She is a shallow, materialistic faux-snob who acts better than everyone else out of the transparently insecure hope that maybe, someday, people will believe her. trying to alert someone to their own bad behavior, however indelicately, is not bullying.
9. Heather put Tamra and Vicky across from each other at her dinner party. That’s a incredibly amateur hostess mistake – if two people don’t get along, you put them on the same side of the table, but with at least one person between them. maybe Heather wants someone to get forcibly drowned in her new pool, though.
10. Do we like any of these women? toward the end of the episode when they were setting up the fights for next week, it struck me that I don’t think I have much, if any, genuine affection for any individual on this cast. Vicky is a dumpster fire of a human being. Tamra is funny, but craven and mean. Gretchen’s just on the show to push her various poorly conceived product lines. Alexis has a great new haircut, and that’s the only positive thing I can say about her. If Heather says “champs” one a lot more time, I’ll hunt her down and personally throttle her. In all the other versions of this series, there are people for whom I root in spite of their faults. In the OC, I just want to enjoy the world burn.
And now for the reunion…
1. Kyle tried to gloss over the difficulties in Adrienne’s marriage but Lisa wouldn’t let her finish her story. Kyle’s been team Adrienne all season, of coure, and when Andy asked about their marriage, she started in with the normal platitudes about how she thought their bickering was charming and normal for them, but Lisa cut in and said that, actually, things have been bad for a while and Paul had moved out before. Clearly, there are future commissions to be had from Adrienne and Paul, so Kyle’s still walking the company line.
2. pretty much all of the Housewives seem to think that Adrienne’s using her personal chef to plant bad things about Paul in the press. It certainly lends credence to what Brandi and Lisa have been saying all season about Bernie’s involvement, and not even Kyle spoke up to contradict the speculation that Bernie was making false abuse allegations against Paul and that Adrienne was likely on board med det. Jeg har altid været fast ved min tro, at Taylor virkelig blev misbrugt af Russell, og jeg er lige så sikker på, at Paul ikke gjorde det samme for Adrienne. Intet om deres forholdsdynamik viser nogen advarselsskilte, og i modsætning til Taylor er der ingen dokumenteret medicinsk historie med skader eller hændelser. Hvis resten af rollebesætningen har ret, er Adrienne måske den værste person, vi nogensinde har haft på rigtige husmødre. Der er lidt lavere end beskyldninger om falsk misbrug. Det er som falskt at rapportere en voldtægt; At ligge kun gør det meget mere hårdt for rigtige ofre at blive taget alvorligt og få deres angribere retsforfulgt.
3. Kim har måske ikke haft bæsj på hendes pude. Jeg følte, at vi glansede over denne – hvor kom bæsj fra? Hvorfor indrømmede Kim tilsyneladende, at der var bæsj? Hvad er historien omkring bæsjen? Tal om at begrave Lede her, Bravo.
4. OK, så det blev sagt dårligt, men jeg får slags, hvad Brandi sagde om Kyle og Kims nøgternhed. Nej, jeg tror ikke, Kyle “håber”, at Kim skal mislykkes. Jeg tror, Kyle prøver regelmæssigt at minde sig selv om, at noget kunne gå galt, fordi hun har haft sin søster selvdestruktion i årtier, og at få hendes håb op til et 100% vellykket bedring skal virke som en frygtelig følelsesmæssig risiko. Jeg bebrejder ikke Kyle for at forsøge at temperere hendes forventninger, og jeg tror, at det kan komme på tværs, da Kyle er ikke imponeret over Kims indsats og måske endda ønsker, at hun ville skynde sig og mislykkes og få det over med. Jeg tror ikke, det er, hvad det faktisk er, og jeg tror, Brandi må have tænkt lidt hårdere på det, før hun sagde det, men jeg kan se, hvor den generaliserede følelse ville komme fra, og hvorfor Kyle ville handle på den måde.
5. Paul hader ikke længere Brandi, men Adrienne gør det stadig. Paul gider i det mindste at filme en lille udsagn for genforeningen, som er meget mere, end vi kan sige for hans ekskone, som tilsyneladende håber, at vi alle vil glemme, at hun eksisterer, men stadig får sine forfærdelige sko og modbydelige aromatiserede vodka.
6. Kyle og Mauricios ejendomsmaskiner er i stigende grad gennemsigtige. Selv mens Mauricio hævdede, at han og Kyle ikke smørte Adrienne og Paul i køb for at få leveringen, da de solgte deres hus, kunne han ikke undgå at prale af, at da han fik fortegnelsen, solgte han det om to uger . Rigtig overbevisning der, I fyre. Jeg mener, at Bravo skar den del ud, hvor Mauricio distribuerede sit servicekort til alle på Reunion -shoot.